Kevin B. Leigh

“The most important thing in communication is hearing — what isn’t said.”

Peter Drucker, often hailed as the father of modern management, was an Austrian-born American management consultant, educator, and author. His writings including “the Effective Executive∗” contributed to the philosophical and practical foundations of the modern business corporation. Drucker’s insights on leadership and management continue to influence business practices worldwide.

This quote beautifully encapsulates the importance of non-verbal communication in leadership. When Drucker talks about “hearing what isn’t said,” he’s referring to the subtle cues we give off through our body language – including what we do with our hands. It’s a reminder that as a leader, you’re always communicating, even when you’re not speaking.

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Hands out of pockets.

Unless you’re fishing for loose change or the meaning of life. If you want to be in control, act like it, not look like a worried introvert. Some will say that hands in pocket looks casual and relaxes others. Sure it does, but I’m not there to help you relax. I’m there to lead you and help you succeed, so you can buy that swimming pool your significant other has been asking for.

Think of your hands as secret weapons in your leadership arsenal. When they’re buried in your pockets, it’s like you’ve unilaterally disarmed yourself. You might as well be wearing a sign that says, “I’m uncomfortable and have no idea what I’m doing here.” Not exactly the vibe we’re going for, is it?

Instead, let those hands free! Use them to gesture, to emphasize points, to conduct the symphony that is your team meeting. Just try not to knock over any coffee cups in your enthusiasm – caffeinated team members are productive team members.

Here’s a Pro Tip:

If you find your hands gravitating towards your pockets, try wearing pants without pockets for a day. You’ll either learn to gesture naturally or invent new and exciting ways to carry your stuff. Either way, it’s a win for your leadership presence. 

If you’re not sure what to do with your hands, try the “steepling” gesture. It’s when you bring your fingertips together in front of you, forming a little roof. It makes you look thoughtful and in control. Plus, it gives you something to do with your hands that doesn’t involve lint-rolling your pocket interiors.

But here’s the catch: don’t overdo the steepling. Use it like salt in cooking – just enough to enhance, not so much that it’s all anyone can focus on. Steeple too often, and you might come across as the evil mastermind in a B-movie, or worse, a know-it-all professor who’s about to launch into a three-hour lecture on the mating habits of sea slugs. Nobody wants that, especially if you’re in tech and not marine biology.

For variety, try the “hand clasp.” Imagine you’re about to arm wrestle yourself. Now, instead of gripping your own hand, simply lay one hand on top of the other, interlacing your fingers loosely. Rest this clasped hand position just below your chest or at waist level. This gesture exudes confidence and composure, like you’ve got all your ducks in a row (even if those ducks are actually running around like headless chickens behind the scenes).

Just be careful not to grip too tightly – you’re aiming for “calm and collected,” not “I’m squeezing invisible stress balls to keep from losing it.” And whatever you do, resist the urge to twiddle your thumbs. You’re a leader, not a cartoon character waiting for inspiration to strike.

I cannot stress enough, your hands are like the turn signals on a car. They indicate where you’re going and what you’re thinking. Keep them visible, keep them active, and for heaven’s sake, keep them out of your pockets. Unless, of course, you’re pulling out the company credit card for the team lunch. In that case, dig deep and be the hero we all need.

∗ link to purchase the Effective Executive: https://amzn.to/3BIGN1m