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Why My Family Always Comes First

Kevin B. Leigh
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Why My Family Always Comes First

Remember, you can always make another dollar, but you can’t make another moment with family once it’s gone. In my journey from Ireland to America, from salesman to entrepreneur, this truth has remained constant: Family First isn’t just a saying – it’s the foundation of everything worth building.

When I stepped off a plane from Ireland at age 13, carrying everything I owned in a single backpack, I learned my first lesson about family: sometimes the bravest thing you can do is start over together.

The Immigrant’s Perspective

Growing up in Ireland, family wasn’t just a word – it was a way of life. Every Sunday dinner, every holiday, every milestone was marked by the gathering of relatives, the sharing of stories, and the strengthening of bonds that crossed generations. When we made the decision to leave our homeland for America, we weren’t just changing locations; we were testing the strength of those bonds across an ocean.

Business Success Starts at Home

Throughout my career in the automotive industry, from my early days selling cars to building and selling my own software company, I’ve learned that the most successful business decisions are often guided by family values. When my partner Phil Gates and I were building Auction Simplified, we approached it not just as a business venture, but as a legacy, we could be proud to share with our families. This continues today in our partnership with Autura, a company that shares our family values and allows us to be a family first company.

The Real Measure of Success

People often ask me about the secret to successfully selling a company. The truth? The real success wasn’t in the sale – it was in being able to make decisions that prioritized both business growth and family life. Every major career move, every risky decision, and every late night at the office was weighed against a simple question: “How does this serve my family?”

Lessons from Both Sides of the Atlantic

My cottage in Wexford serves as more than just a vacation home; it’s a bridge between two worlds and a reminder of where it all began. When my children and grandchildren visit Ireland, they’re not just touring a country – they’re connecting with their roots, understanding their heritage, and learning the same values that guided me through life’s biggest challenges.

The Modern Family Challenge

In today’s fast-paced world of constant connectivity and never-ending work emails, maintaining family as your top priority isn’t always easy. Technology that was meant to bring us closer together often pulls us apart. But here’s what I’ve learned:

no email is more important than a family dinner, no meeting more crucial than a child’s milestone, and no deal more valuable than the trust of your loved ones.

Building a Legacy That Matters

When I sold Auction Simplified, the transaction wasn’t just about the money – it was about securing a future for my family and creating opportunities for the next generation. Success in business is fleeting, but the impact you have on your family lasts forever.

A Simple Truth

At the end of the day, business associates become friends, companies get sold, careers evolve, but family remains constant. They’re there to celebrate your victories, support you through challenges, and remind you of what truly matters.

The best decision I ever made wasn’t starting a successful company – it was understanding that every business decision needed to serve a greater purpose: strengthening and supporting my family.

New Manager Rule #13: Never Lie to Your Team

Kevin B. Leigh
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New Manager Rule #13: Never Lie to Your Team


“The day the soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

Let’s talk about Colin Powell for a second. This guy wasn’t just any pencil-pusher in a suit. He was a four-star general who climbed the ranks from ROTC to become the first African American to serve as the U.S. Secretary of State. We’re talking about a man who advised presidents, navigated international crises, and led thousands of troops. In other words, he was the LeBron James of leadership, but with more medals and fewer slam dunks.

Powell’s career spanned over four decades, from the battlefields of Vietnam to the halls of the White House. He faced life-or-death decisions where the consequences of dishonesty could be catastrophic. So when he talks about leadership, it’s not some theoretical mumbo-jumbo from a textbook. It’s battle-tested wisdom that’s been forged in the crucible of real-world challenges.

Let’s break down what he’s saying in this quote. Powell is essentially telling us that the moment your team stops trusting you enough to bring you their problems, you’ve failed as a leader. And you know what’s the fastest way to lose that trust? Lying. Whether it’s a white lie, a lie by omission, or a full-blown, pants-on-fire fib, dishonesty is like kryptonite to leadership.

Think about it. If you’re not honest with your team, one of two things will happen: either they’ll figure out you can’t be trusted to help them (because you’re full of it), or they’ll think you don’t give a rat’s ass about their issues. Either way, you’ve just turned yourself from a leader into a glorified scarecrow – a figurehead that everyone ignores.

Don’t Lie to Your Team.

It’s not just morally wrong; it’s also incredibly stupid. In the age of instant communication and digital paper trails, lies have shorter half-lives than a radioactive isotope in a nuclear reactor.

Let this sink in: 

“Trust is the currency of leadership, and every lie is like lighting a stack of that currency on fire.”

Once you’re caught in a lie (and trust me, you will be caught), you might as well change your title to “Ex-Manager In Charge of Rebuilding Trust and Groveling.”

You know, this reminds me of something your grandpa, my father, used to say. He’d look me square in the eye and ask, 

“Why lie when the truth will do?”

Noel J Leigh

Now, my father wasn’t just throwing around catchy phrases. This man was a walking masterclass in integrity. He came to this country as an Irish immigrant, built a successful used car business from the ground up, and did it all without ever compromising his principles.

When Noel said, “Why lie when the truth will do,” he was passing down a nugget of wisdom that’s worth its weight in gold. Think about it. Lying is exhausting. You have to remember what you said, who you said it to, and make sure your stories line up. It’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle – eventually, you’re going to drop something and get burned.

But the truth? The truth just is. You don’t have to remember it because you lived it. You don’t have to worry about keeping your stories straight because there’s only one story – the true one. Your grandpa understood that honesty isn’t just the best policy; it’s the easiest policy.

In the world of leadership, this principle is your North Star. When you’re tempted to sugarcoat bad news, fudge the numbers, or tell a “harmless” white lie to avoid conflict, hear Grandpa Noel’s voice in your head asking, “Why lie when the truth will do?”

Now, I’m not saying you need to channel your inner Jim Carrey from “Liar Liar” and blurt out every thought that crosses your mind. There’s a difference between lying and strategic omission. You don’t need to tell your team about the company’s secret plan to replace the coffee machine with a youth-sucking energy extractor. But if asked directly, “Are there going to be layoffs?” and you know there are, don’t channel your inner politician with a “We’re exploring all options to optimize our human resource allocation.”

New Manager Rule #12: Mirroring Others

Kevin B. Leigh
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New Manager Rule #12: Mirroring Others


“People who are like each other tend to like each other. So if you want someone to like and trust you, you have to demonstrate that you’re like them. Matching and mirroring is the way you demonstrate commonality with another person.”

This quote comes straight from the horse’s mouth—or in this case, the motivational giant’s mouth. Robbins isn’t just hinting at mirroring here; he’s laying it out as a fundamental technique for building trust and rapport.

Let’s unpack what Robbins is really saying about mirroring. In his book “Unlimited Power” and throughout his seminars, Robbins emphasizes that mirroring is about creating a sense of similarity and familiarity. He breaks it down into several key components:

1. Physiology: This includes posture, gestures, and facial expressions. Robbins suggests subtly matching the other person’s physical state to create a sense of harmony.

2. Voice: This involves matching tone, tempo, volume, and even breathing patterns. Robbins believes that aligning your speech patterns with others can create a deep, subconscious connection.

3. Language: This is about matching the other person’s preferred communication style. Are they visual, auditory, or kinesthetic in their language? Do they speak in big picture terms or focus on details?

4. Values and Beliefs: While this goes beyond simple mirroring, Robbins emphasizes the importance of finding common ground in values and beliefs to build stronger connections.

Robbins teaches that effective mirroring should be done with genuine interest and respect. It’s not about manipulating others, but about creating a comfortable environment where communication can flow freely. He often demonstrates this in his seminars, rapidly building rapport with audience members through skilled mirroring techniques.

But here’s the kicker – Robbins also warns against mimicry. He stresses that mirroring should be subtle and natural. If it’s obvious, it can backfire, making you seem insincere or mocking.

Mirroring someone’s body language builds rapport.

Just don’t turn it into a game of “Simon Says” in the middle of a meeting

Let this sink in: Mirroring is like having a superpower in social situations. When done right, it can make people feel like you’re on the same wavelength, like you just get them. It’s the body language equivalent of finishing someone’s sentences, but without the risk of saying something stupid.

Here’s how it works: Subtly match the other person’s posture, gestures, and speaking pace. If they lean forward, you lean forward. If they speak slowly, you slow down your speech. If they cross their arms, you… well, maybe don’t mirror everything. We’re aiming for rapport, not a standoff.

But here’s the catch—and it’s a big one. Mirroring is not about becoming a human photocopy machine. If you start mimicking every little movement, you’ll look less like an empathetic leader and more like a creepy mime with personal space issues.

The key is subtlety. You want to be a gentle echo, not a parrot on steroids. If someone notices you’re mirroring them, you’ve already lost the game. It’s like Fight Club—the first rule of mirroring is you don’t talk about mirroring.

And for the love of all that is holy in the business world, don’t mirror negative behaviors. If your colleague is stress-tapping their pen, joining in won’t build rapport; it’ll just annoy everyone within earshot. Same goes for nervous tics, angry gestures, or that weird thing Bob does with his eyebrows when he’s confused. Some things are better left un-mirrored.

Here’s a Pro Tip: Practice mirroring in low-stakes situations. Try it with the barista at your local coffee shop or the cashier at the grocery store. But maybe not with the TSA agent at the airport. Mirroring someone who’s asking you to remove your shoes might send the wrong message.

Remember, mirroring is about creating a sense of familiarity and comfort. It’s not about losing your own personality or turning into a human chameleon. You’re still the leader, not a shape-shifting alien trying to blend in with earthlings.

Used wisely, mirroring can be a powerful tool in your leadership toolkit. It can help you build stronger connections, improve communication, and make people feel heard and understood. Just use it responsibly.

New Manager Rule #11: Encouraging Body Language

Kevin B. Leigh
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New Manager Rule #11: Encouraging Body Language


“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”

Dr. Remen isn’t just throwing words around here, Alex. As a physician and professor at the UCSF School of Medicine, she’s spent decades exploring the human side of medicine. She understands that listening – really listening – is at the heart of human connection. And in leadership, connection is everything.

Encouraging Body Language:

Nodding while someone is speaking encourages them to continue. Nodding off while someone is speaking encourages them to find a new job. But don’t be the person nodding endlessly in Zoom meetings while you’re actually playing video games in the background.

Let this sink in: Your nod, your smile, and your enthusiasm are powerful tools of encouragement. It’s like a silent cheerleader for the person speaking. Use it wisely, and you’ll have people opening up to you like you’re some kind of leadership therapist. Use it poorly, and you’ll have people questioning if you’re awake or if they should call medical assistance.

The art of the nod is all about balance. You want to show you’re engaged without looking like one of those bobblehead dogs people put on their car dashboards. A well-timed nod says, “I hear you, I understand you, and I’m not currently fantasizing about what I’m having for lunch.” It’s encouragement in its purest, most silent form.

But beware the over-nod! If you’re bobbing your head like you’re at a heavy metal concert, you’re not encouraging—you’re alarming. People will start to wonder if you’re having some sort of medical episode or if you’ve been replaced by an enthusiastic robot.

Now, let’s talk about the virtual world – the land of Zoom, where pants are optional but engagement is crucial. In the pre-video call era, you could get away with zoning out during a phone meeting. Now? Your face is front and center, and everyone can see if you’re more interested in beating your high score in Candy Crush than in Bob’s quarterly report.

The virtual nod is an art form in itself. You need to show you’re listening without looking like you’re trying to headbang your way through the meeting. A slight nod here, a thoughtful tilt of the head there – it’s like a choreographed dance of engagement. Just remember, if your camera is stuttering, your subtle nod might look like you’re having a seizure. Tech issues—the bane of virtual leadership.

Here’s a Pro Tip:

Practice your listening face in the mirror. You want to aim for “thoughtful and engaged,” not “constipated and in pain.” And for virtual meetings, set up your camera so people can see your nods. If they can only see the top half of your head, your encouraging nods will look like you’re aggressively agreeing with everything. Or worse, people might think you’re doing some weird at-desk calisthenics.

The key is authenticity. Don’t nod if you’re not listening. It’s better to ask someone to repeat themselves than to be caught faking attention. Nothing kills trust faster than realizing someone’s been nodding along while their eyes glaze over like a donut.

I cannot stress enough that, encouraging body language is about more than just keeping your eyes open and your head moving. It’s about showing genuine interest. So nod wisely, listen actively, and for Pete’s sake, keep the video games for after the meeting. Unless it’s a team-building exercise in Mario Kart. Then, by all means, nod and game away!

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