RED NECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

RED NECKĀ  HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

  1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
  2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
  3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
  4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


Mad Pit Bull“Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.

Be back in an hour.
Don’t mess with the pitĀ  bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up bad.
I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.

Better wait outside.

Be right back.

Cooter”

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