“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”
Dr. Remen isn’t just throwing words around here, Alex. As a physician and professor at the UCSF School of Medicine, she’s spent decades exploring the human side of medicine. She understands that listening – really listening – is at the heart of human connection. And in leadership, connection is everything.
Encouraging Body Language:
Nodding while someone is speaking encourages them to continue. Nodding off while someone is speaking encourages them to find a new job. But don’t be the person nodding endlessly in Zoom meetings while you’re actually playing video games in the background.
Let this sink in: Your nod, your smile, and your enthusiasm are powerful tools of encouragement. It’s like a silent cheerleader for the person speaking. Use it wisely, and you’ll have people opening up to you like you’re some kind of leadership therapist. Use it poorly, and you’ll have people questioning if you’re awake or if they should call medical assistance.
The art of the nod is all about balance. You want to show you’re engaged without looking like one of those bobblehead dogs people put on their car dashboards. A well-timed nod says, “I hear you, I understand you, and I’m not currently fantasizing about what I’m having for lunch.” It’s encouragement in its purest, most silent form.
But beware the over-nod! If you’re bobbing your head like you’re at a heavy metal concert, you’re not encouraging—you’re alarming. People will start to wonder if you’re having some sort of medical episode or if you’ve been replaced by an enthusiastic robot.
Now, let’s talk about the virtual world – the land of Zoom, where pants are optional but engagement is crucial. In the pre-video call era, you could get away with zoning out during a phone meeting. Now? Your face is front and center, and everyone can see if you’re more interested in beating your high score in Candy Crush than in Bob’s quarterly report.
The virtual nod is an art form in itself. You need to show you’re listening without looking like you’re trying to headbang your way through the meeting. A slight nod here, a thoughtful tilt of the head there – it’s like a choreographed dance of engagement. Just remember, if your camera is stuttering, your subtle nod might look like you’re having a seizure. Tech issues—the bane of virtual leadership.
Here’s a Pro Tip:
Practice your listening face in the mirror. You want to aim for “thoughtful and engaged,” not “constipated and in pain.” And for virtual meetings, set up your camera so people can see your nods. If they can only see the top half of your head, your encouraging nods will look like you’re aggressively agreeing with everything. Or worse, people might think you’re doing some weird at-desk calisthenics.
The key is authenticity. Don’t nod if you’re not listening. It’s better to ask someone to repeat themselves than to be caught faking attention. Nothing kills trust faster than realizing someone’s been nodding along while their eyes glaze over like a donut.
I cannot stress enough that, encouraging body language is about more than just keeping your eyes open and your head moving. It’s about showing genuine interest. So nod wisely, listen actively, and for Pete’s sake, keep the video games for after the meeting. Unless it’s a team-building exercise in Mario Kart. Then, by all means, nod and game away!